Thoughts from Carolyn 10-09-09

I am so overwhelmed at times with the preparation God is doing in my heart and soul for this trip to Guatemala. I have never been on a mission trip. Never felt called, assumed it would never happen in my lifetime - I could always give and pray for others to go, but there was no way God would call me to leave my family, risk my diabetes in a 3rd world country, go completely out of my comfort zone when I could do so much more here at home. Besides, I have no building skills, and as most mission trips are about building things, repairing things, etc., no one would have any use for someone who barely can wield a hammer!

Well, God had other plans. He started speaking to my heart the day I first learned about La Limonada and the children that are there. I felt such a strong urge to visit and to meet Tita. But, I told God, I can't trust a place without good medical care. Then a week went by & I was talking to the head of Lemonade International, Bill Cummings, and he said there is an awesome, private hospital very close to where the teams stay. Crap! But I don't have any skills to offer. Then God revealed to me that all these children need are smiles, love, hugs, and attention. Crap! I have so much of that to spare that I feel I don't know enough people to spread all the love I have inside me. But, God, I don't like sleeping without my sound machine, my pillow, my bed, my coffee, etc. etc. etc.. Then God said - "But you will see people who have no homes, no place to lay their heads, and no food to eat, yet they will have more joy than you will know."

I am humbled. I am amazed that God finds me worthy to be on this earth, much less to be a part of His plan in La Limonada. When the last of my doubts were falling away, I realized how was I going to raise money for this trip and God said for me to not worry about it. If you know my husband, you know he worries a little about money - plus his job was about to be phased out. I told him I felt so strongly that God wanted me to be there that if I had to ask every person I knew for $1-5 to go, I would do it. Then before I could tell a soul I was in the need for funds, a friend from way back surprised me with a check that covered almost ALL of my trip. Just because. I probably haven't seen her since high school, but we have fortunately reconnected over Facebook & God has blessed me with reconnecting with such a sweet, loving, and unselfish friend who cheers me up & makes me laugh and has allowed me to go on this trip without worrying about money.

I am so excited to see what God has in store for this team. I know without a doubt, He wants me there. I have been praying hard for Him to prepare my heart for this trip. I know part of my heart will be left behind in Guatemala and I am okay with that. I love this country so much already and I want to let every person I meet there to feel some of God's love pouring through me.

God is good. He is perfect, He is the Almighty. I am sure of His plan and have full confidence that no matter what happens in Guatemala, it is His plan for me to be there.